Bede Academy

In Bede Academy they want to chuck out the hell raisers who allow their mothers to park incorrectly, whereas everywhere I've taught, you pretty much had to murder the headmaster before being asked to leave. (Then you appealed to the School Governors and were let back in with another final warning)

I reckon they would struggle over the legality of this punitive parking policy, but it's good publicity for them without a doubt. See if you can get your school to announce something similarly draconian; maybe a detention if your father is late submitting his tax return or an essay if granddad is seen watering his shallots during a hosepipe ban? Next time there is a parents evening, go out into the car park with a torch and check everybody's tax disc.

(I've cut down on the amount of capital letters I use in this blog after a couple of recent complaints. I you'd prefer some more, just say. I only want to please.)