Michael Heseltine

Michael Heseltine reckons that we should get retired army officers to sort out the discipline in schools. This is an old chestnut which gets aired every few years or so. Coincidentally, last weekend I spoke to a friend who had just left after 22 years service. He reckoned that he would last about 15 minutes as a state school teacher.

"Some kid would start mucking about, I'd tell them to stop, they would answer me back and I'd give them a slap..."

Hmmm. I'm afraid that idea's not going to work, Michael. You can't fight a battle if you are the only one who wants to.

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Lady Gaga

We will never be able to compete with the United States if we are always playing catch-up. Can it really be true that none of our Universities offer the chance to study Lady Gaga?

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Prisoners getting the vote

I'm fine about prisoners being allowed to vote. I just want them to stay prisoners for a bit longer than the people in charge do.

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Work for Benefits

The idea must be thirty years old by now, so why has it taken so long to start asking the long term unemployed to work for their money?

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Gobbledygook

I'm going to try and build up a comprehensive collection of nonsense education speak. The page will go up on the sidebar and will become a useful resource for any reader facing an interview for a position in Senior Management.

To start the ball rolling:

1) Performativity (the emphasis on achieving targets)

2) Dialogic teaching (having a chat with the kids)

3) Articulated progression (allowing pupils to choose their next step in the qualification system)

4) Level descriptor (the National Curriculum level of something)

I look forward to your contributions (but don't forget to say what they mean)

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Tuition Fees

So it looks like University fees are going to rise to £9000 a year. Add say £3500 for rent each year and £4500 to live on, then after a three year degree students are going to leave owing about £50 000.

This is a frightening prospect for the ones who are doing a sensible subject, but for those on a Mickey Mouse course, it is utter madness. No school will tell them this beforehand however, because it is not in their interest. They know perfectly well that their Ofsted report will contain a simple percentage figure of pupils going into Higher education.

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Sheffield

Whilst others might be worried about cuts, up in Sheffield the Socialist Republic has just spent £15 000 on a new logo for the city.

This is what they got for their money. Amazing, I'm sure you'll agree. Why did they not simply hold a competition in the local schools with a £250 prize for the winning effort?

Ah, I know- because it's not their own cash they are spending.

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